An open letter to the stag-do at last night’s gig…
Before I get started, I have to say, this is my FIRST post as a professional comedian! My last diary post was as a semi-professional comedian in March last year. I have since been FULL TIME since May, 2013. Here’s hoping I can continue to not go broke for even longer. Many thanks to those who have been supporting me since I was only an amateur comic. I wouldn’t be here without your constant encouragement.
Right, now on with my entry…
I was terrified when I heard you were booked to come to my preview show. Being a work-in-progress, I wasn’t really prepared to deal with 12 rowdy fellas on a Saturday night who were gearing up for the England VS Italy game after the show. When I saw the Stag rock up in his Little Bo Peep outfit, I was convinced I was going to have a terrible time.
But… you guys… were… BRILLIANT! You were respectful and attentive. You laughed at the right points, you joined in during the moments when I needed you to. You were everything a comic like myself could ever want in an audience.
Of course, as I pointed out last night, you have now given me a completely skewed perception on what to expect from stag-dos. Promoters will call me asking, “Can you do Bucks’ Nights?” and I’ll be like, “CAN I?!” Only to be followed later by my inevitable rocking back-and-fourth in the foetal position outside a Jongleurs.
But thank you. You made it the most enjoyable of my previews yet. I can only hope Edinburgh brings similar amounts of joy. If not, I can always start performing for Hen Parties instead…
P.S. Stag: Congratulations. I wish you all the best in your marriage. If you are just as good a husband as you are an audience member, I’ve no doubt you’ll spend many, many happy years together and have a wonderful life.
- A goth helping 2 elderly ladies off the tube and to the lift.
- A group of strangers discussing what to do with a bag a man left on the tube. A fella volunteered to get off at the next station and go back to the one the man got off at to see if he was there or return it to lost property, as he had more spare time than the others in the group.
- A rough-looking guy in a corner shop asking if he could buy a slice of pizza the shopkeepers were eating behind the counter while watching the football… and the shopkeepers giving him their last slices in the box to take home for free.
London gets a bad rep sometimes. Things like this remind me that people are still often decent human beings at heart.
Additional: Friend, Abi Dalit Symons, says:
“There was a really loud guy on the back of a night bus I was on last summer and it was about 1am. He was talking to anyone and everyone and generally annoying the hell out of most people. One man got off the bus pretty hastily. This loud guy saw that the other man had dropped his wallet, yelled a bit and made the bus pull over before a stop (by just opening the doors) jumped off and ran to the man and gave it back to him. I saw the previously tired and grumpy looking man light up and give the loud guy a massive hug. Then I watched the loud guy skip and sing as he started walking home. London is full of absolute nut-jobs but some of the nut-jobs are full of joy x”
What acts of kindness have you seen this week?
Always Night Pads advertise, “Up to 100% leak protection!”
Uhh… yeah? That’s your only job! It’s not something to brag about.
Now if you said, “Up to 200% leak protection!” I’d be like, “Ok. Now I’m listening. What is that? You’re gonna, like, stop me from ovulating or something?”
The venn-diagram venn-diagram.
My Facebook friends share The Guardian link with glee. “It’s about time!” they exclaim, thanking the BBC for finally addressing the imbalance on UK comedy panel shows.
But it’s NOT ENOUGH.
"…every episode recorded from now on will include at least one woman." OH YAY. AT LEAST ONE WOMAN. THANK YOU BBC. YOU’RE SO GENEROUS.
Given most panel shows have about 6 members plus a host, I’m not satisfied with, "At least one." Oh yes, because the world is made up of 1 woman for every 6 men. Yes. That sounds right.
Not only that, but I want a promise of female COMEDIANS on panel shows. “I’ve seen women on panel shows. They’re just not funny.” That’s because she was a sports personality or a mathematician! She’s not a comedian! It’s not her job to be funny! Pit her against a mainly comedic panel and of course she won’t deliver the punchlines!
"…at least one woman." I’m sorry, but I won’t be heralding anyone as a hero for women’s rights until I hear, "50% of panel shows will be formed of female comedians." Until then, it is NOT ENOUGH.
Further to this, a friend said, “Surely you would rather be on a show because you’re funny, though, not to fill a quota. Guests should be there on merit, not because they have a vagina.”
Let’s just make this clear: there are LOADS of very, very funny women who are capable of being JUST as (if not, MORE) entertaining on these shows. And they’re not on them. It’s not because they’re not funny. It’s because they have a vagina. “Merit” means bugger-all at the moment.
Give us a chance to prove women are just as funny as men by allowing us the same liberties men have had on these shows for ages. To acknowledge the imbalance of gender on these shows, but then only suggest “at least one woman” should be on each episode is pathetic. At least one woman is still not a balance.
You put one woman on a show with 6 men and if she says a joke which bombs, everyone goes, “girls aren’t funny.” You have one guy tell a joke which bombs, everyone says, “that one comedian wasn’t funny.” Do you see the problem here?
Arguing there should be more balance of gender on these shows isn’t suggesting producers start booking guests based on gender. It’s requesting producers stop worrying about how an equal gender ratio may affect their ratings. Give us a chance to prove ourselves.